Worth living for.

So, with it being the New Year and all, i decided to go through the mess of papers that fills almost two rooms. What are all those papers?

Artwork.

All the way back to the year 2003. And I have to admit, it has been fun! So far, my favoruite year for art would have to be 2005. Why? because i seemed to have the most fun there! I've found so many old picture ideas that i wanna brush off and redo. I have found all the old Plot Bunny drawings and the original sketches for the FF7 plushies. I have found so many old sketches of things that have changed my life and introduced me to so many people.

So of it I'm still amazed I drew, especially the old pencil and coloured pencil fantasy stuff. I'm so damn proud that I can put my name on some of it! The ones i really adore I'll take pictures of to show you guys. It's nice to see how far I've come in terms of skill, but i think, I need to relearn how to just let go and draw because there is quite a difference in that aspect of my work.

But, my New Years Resolution was to learn how to live and laugh and love for myself. and so, this is a good start.

I've also discovered I have a LOT of canvas and illustration board so there will probably be some more traditional art in the future. There is also quite a bit of stuff in the watercolour department...

And photos! There are photos of me and friends and random people O__o; And it seems so very odd to look back at them. Why? because I've changed a lot and yet not. You put a picture of me now beside one from 6 years ago and except for the fact that I'm slimmer now you can't tell there is an age of difference, yet, I look both older and younger and it's weird seeing finally what people were telling me. I know it makes no sense, but it makes me smile and believe that yeah, even though there have been some horrible things that have happened in the past few years, i can smile now and mean it, I can play and I'm learning to live. Slowly, but surely I feel like i'm waking up.

And how will I know when I'm alive?

I'll be able to throw my arms up and dance just because I want to.

I'll be able to look in the mirror.

I'll look in the mirror and laugh at myself.

I'll finally go after the one I love and know that yes, I am good enough.

I'll be able to hang out with friends and not hide who I am.

I'll be able to walk in the daylight and not wait till evening.

I'll wake up and I'll smile.

So there. That is my somewhat sappy and emotional talk for the New Years. Now I'm going to get more coffee, go put on a DVD and draw or laugh and then get back to going through papers. I'll shade the next page of legend tomorrow for all those who have been more then patient with me.

Loves to you all and welcome to the New Year.

Hey photos!

I realize that i forgot to tell you guys something very important!

During my time of silence last month I was gifted with a charming little one!

( He wasn't planned but... )

And now, remember how I said I wanted to redo some of my old art? Well, while watching DVDs, I started one!

( And this one is going to be fun! )

And that is all for now! I still have so much paper to go through O__o; Oh and I have two more Apple Dolls that I got for Christmas! I'll have to show them to you guys later!