I feel so guilty when I think about killing myself because I still see what my father's suicide has done to my family, and especially from what it has done to me. The unanswered question of 'why' is so hard to bear most of the time. I can't do that to the people I love.
Not being able to find a job is making me depressed. I'm withdrawing from the people I love because I'm so ashamed that I can't find a stupid job even after graduating at the top of my Uni class.
I'm always alone because people annoy the crap out of me and I get tired of them. That's why friendships for me don't last more than a couple of months before I leave them.
I tell people that I don't want to get married or have children, but sometimes I do, but I can't take back what I've already said. My pride won't let me prove people right when they tell me that I will get married and/or have children because I'm too young to make up my mind right now.
I hate how religion is all people seem to think about these days and that everyone condemns everyone else for not sharing in their religious views. I hate how people see the Bible as the book that must be true, just b/c it's about their religion. I wish they could see that the Bible is just like a Roman or Greek or Celtic mythology book. Just b/c it's a book that you believe in, doesn't mean it's real. And if you can actually believe that your God exists, then why can't other gods and goddesses exist as well?
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2010-02-17 04:09 am (UTC)Not being able to find a job is making me depressed. I'm withdrawing from the people I love because I'm so ashamed that I can't find a stupid job even after graduating at the top of my Uni class.
I'm always alone because people annoy the crap out of me and I get tired of them. That's why friendships for me don't last more than a couple of months before I leave them.
I tell people that I don't want to get married or have children, but sometimes I do, but I can't take back what I've already said. My pride won't let me prove people right when they tell me that I will get married and/or have children because I'm too young to make up my mind right now.
I hate how religion is all people seem to think about these days and that everyone condemns everyone else for not sharing in their religious views. I hate how people see the Bible as the book that must be true, just b/c it's about their religion. I wish they could see that the Bible is just like a Roman or Greek or Celtic mythology book. Just b/c it's a book that you believe in, doesn't mean it's real. And if you can actually believe that your God exists, then why can't other gods and goddesses exist as well?