I'm currently at my friend's apartment with a group of other friends. It's a whole host of holidays over here at the moment, and since I'm overseas, I wanted to at least spend them with people I care about if I can't be with my family. And yet I'm in the corner on my own, on my laptop with my headphones on, doing on my own thing while they crowd around a laptop watching a movie. Perhaps it's just me being anti-social, but it is a movie I refuse to watch (for personal reasons). I hate feeling left out of group things like this, but there are certain values I refuse to compromise for.
I guess a part of the reason why I'm feeling so moody is because I'll be graduating in two months, and after this I'll be moving back home. I doubt I'll ever see any of these friends in person again, not when "home" is literally halfway around the world. I hate the idea of breaking off all my ties again (no, the internet and webcam is just not the same), and perhaps I'm pulling away now so I don't feel the break as badly when I do have to leave.
Feeling lonely in a room full of other people is so much worse than being by myself.
There are two reasons why I keep coming back to your journal. One, I really, really love your artwork, whether you're drawing for fandom or something original. And I keep coming back because your LJ entries are always so genuine and honest. So much has happened to you, but I find that... I don't know, you're still here, and you're still you, and it's a subtle sort of strength.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2010-02-17 05:48 am (UTC)I guess a part of the reason why I'm feeling so moody is because I'll be graduating in two months, and after this I'll be moving back home. I doubt I'll ever see any of these friends in person again, not when "home" is literally halfway around the world. I hate the idea of breaking off all my ties again (no, the internet and webcam is just not the same), and perhaps I'm pulling away now so I don't feel the break as badly when I do have to leave.
Feeling lonely in a room full of other people is so much worse than being by myself.
There are two reasons why I keep coming back to your journal. One, I really, really love your artwork, whether you're drawing for fandom or something original. And I keep coming back because your LJ entries are always so genuine and honest. So much has happened to you, but I find that... I don't know, you're still here, and you're still you, and it's a subtle sort of strength.