![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Jan. 17th, 2011 11:44 amThis morning was bad.
Woke up in a panicked state that nearly matched my break-down in dad's apartment. I know it had something to do with my dreaming last night and I'll be honest.
I spent 2 hours trying to call dad before reality kicked in.
Needless to say that I am happy that hospital had given me medication for situations like this and although I hate the drugged feeling that is running through my body, my emotions are shoved back enough that I can function and hopefully work through them. Also called the Crisis Line and they talked me through a few things and warned me that there will be more such attacks.
It was recommended I get either full-time councelling or a psychiatrist, because, while the hospital is free, they all don the bare minimum because of the sheer amount of patients they have to see.
Which means I should be working on more sellable art.
And out of curiousity, which of my art do you want to see more? The cute little fun stuff? The more epic dragons? The Fairies? The fanart? Any other style you think I might enoy playing in? What? I should also mention that with my new tablet there came a free 5 year full membership for Cafepress and so I've been thinking of art to go on shirts and such.
But for right now, I was told to take it easy and relax. To give myself no goals for one day and just focus on whatever catches my interest.
...
I still can't believe it took me two hours to remember. I'm glad I was alone in the house because I ended up screaming at the phone and I'm sorry to say there was blood. Very little, but it was there.
Some days I really REALLY miss being in the US. Being around the people I know there is one of the truly happy things in my life and leaving is always a hellish experience. When I'm rich and famous, I'll hire a driver and take a road trip simply to go a visit anyone is willing to put up with me for a day or two. It would be wonderful not have to worry about running a table and simply relaxing with you guys.
One day.
Woke up in a panicked state that nearly matched my break-down in dad's apartment. I know it had something to do with my dreaming last night and I'll be honest.
I spent 2 hours trying to call dad before reality kicked in.
Needless to say that I am happy that hospital had given me medication for situations like this and although I hate the drugged feeling that is running through my body, my emotions are shoved back enough that I can function and hopefully work through them. Also called the Crisis Line and they talked me through a few things and warned me that there will be more such attacks.
It was recommended I get either full-time councelling or a psychiatrist, because, while the hospital is free, they all don the bare minimum because of the sheer amount of patients they have to see.
Which means I should be working on more sellable art.
And out of curiousity, which of my art do you want to see more? The cute little fun stuff? The more epic dragons? The Fairies? The fanart? Any other style you think I might enoy playing in? What? I should also mention that with my new tablet there came a free 5 year full membership for Cafepress and so I've been thinking of art to go on shirts and such.
But for right now, I was told to take it easy and relax. To give myself no goals for one day and just focus on whatever catches my interest.
...
I still can't believe it took me two hours to remember. I'm glad I was alone in the house because I ended up screaming at the phone and I'm sorry to say there was blood. Very little, but it was there.
Some days I really REALLY miss being in the US. Being around the people I know there is one of the truly happy things in my life and leaving is always a hellish experience. When I'm rich and famous, I'll hire a driver and take a road trip simply to go a visit anyone is willing to put up with me for a day or two. It would be wonderful not have to worry about running a table and simply relaxing with you guys.
One day.
