Simple Solutions.

[luco]

So. I've been silent for awhile, even though I promised to get back to comments and such, and have not shown you guys art for quite some time. The reason for that?

Well, after my my rant about school and people and such, I was thinking about doing some very 'stupid things', but luckily I had enough sense and control to go book myself into the hospital for a day. They had an empty bed and a doctor was able to see me and all seemed good. And with the hope that I could get myself back on track and handle school and such better, I agreed to try some medication.

Bad move.

Now I know meds work for some people and mood-wise they did work for me. But there is one major problem I get while on them. I can not draw. Not at all. And that was killing me. So while my moods were fairly happy and calm and everyone saw that I looked better, I couldn't draw, I didn't have the will to do anything and everything got neglected. I ended up behind on homework, my room became a mess and I almost....

I almost destroyed Delmar.

When that happened I called the hospital and demanded they take me off them. They told me how and it's been two days since the and finally, I feel alive. I sat down and started working on homework and it was working. My animation is finally co-operating and my characters are coming to life again. So now, if I can keep this up, I can get everything done on time and with next week being reading week I can finally draw for myself (and you guys) again!

So I may be silent for a little longer, but it's simply a busy silence this time.

Oh!

And Maile? the number is the same, the phone has just been off most of the time.

And the three people who commented last post? I will chose what to send out to you soon.

Ladyharken? My address is posted at the beginning of this september...it's my school address from last year as well ^___^

And Cathy? You're package arrived, Delmar and I are both very very happy and bug hugs to you and your sister. I have the fabric for your boy's outfit, I just can't remember what size he is.. will respond to your email once homework has been dealt with.

And to everyone else. I will get back to you soon and thanks for the calls and comments. Hopefully things become more silly and cheerful after this. . .

Comments

[ripfangdragon.livejournal.com]

Mood stabilizers do that to some people. I was put on them in the past and I was so flat lined. I was less depressed, yes, but that didn't mean I was happy. Just...emotionless. There was nothing, and I wasn't me. I stopped taking them and I am me again. Yes, very moody, but anyone who cares about me will deal with it.

I'm just glad to see you're better, alive again and okay. And I definitely look forward to arts (and sexy pictures of that sexy Delmar)

[helendragon.livejournal.com]

Glad you feel better. (I was kind of worried about you honestly.) Medication can be tricky (knows this from personal experience.)

[white_aster]

:Hugs: I've heard that that happens a lot with creative folks who get depressive: the drugs just make them unable to be creative, cuts out the highs as well as the lows, which makes things worse. Not all of the drugs work the same, and it's worth trying a few different kinds if/when you feel up to it again, but in the end I know a low of folks just learn to deal with the depression rather than medicate it. Know when it happens how to keep them from doing anything dumb, whether it be by changing their environment or finding somewhere safe to ride it out or whatever. Just do what you have to do, hon. :huuuuugs:

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

*glomp*

I'm very glad to hear you're doing okay now. I had a friend in highschool that was on mood-regulating drugs for a long time (she may still be) and from my observation, they make you happy by taking away your ability to feel strongly. She was a neutral happy. About everything.

And before people jump at me, I do know they work for some people (they must), but it was strange sometimes to see that friend's lack of reaction to events.

Anyway. Good for you. I'm really impressed that you had the strength to go get help when you needed it.

I'll mail you my addy ^^ - and I confess, I need yours again too. My email is genuinelies at yahoo dot com.

[ahja-reyn.livejournal.com]

Yikes. That must have been a crazy trip, to be happy yet unable to to anything. Hey, is your phone # listed in your memories by any chance? I figure if it's going to take me forever to get around to mailing you anything, I can send you txts and pix instead ^^

[geekchic07.livejournal.com]

I have a lot of students on antidepressants who say the same thing; their creative drive is gone when they're on them. If you're still wanting to try meds, you can try explaining what happened and see if they have different meds for you or, really, just seeing a psychologist can help a ton. An impartial third party who can give input is nice.

But, anyway, big hugs from me. I know we don't know each other much, if at all lol, but if you ever want to chat it up, I can give you my email or you give me yours. Whatever works. <3!

I'm glad you're back. /love

[mogumogu.livejournal.com]

I was on stuff for a while. They gave me a dose some would consider candy. I guess it worked enough to take the edge off things when I was in real trouble. The problem was, I had to see a pusher to get the stuff, and you know how the people who prescribe stuff ask "How are you?" and you're like "I feel okay..." whether or not you felt great or terrible (you conveniently forget) and they give you another slip. I mean, maybe I needed a bigger dose, a different medication, or none at all! We'll never really know...
So, after a while (and after some drama: my school clinic not stocking my dosage, the price of getting it at a pharmacy, forgetting appointments with doctors whose only purpose is to prescribe, etc) and then reading about withdrawal symptoms and poop-out, I decided to get off it 'cause it wasn't really serving its purpose anymore (well, maybe it was, but I decided it didn't. Ha).

I don't know if it made me less creative. Maybe it made me more creative. I have kind of a defective brain and no sense of creativity.

Aaaaanyway. Now I take this supplement called Sam-e. It was designed for something else, but it happens to enhance mood, among other things. I think it does its job. If you can consume it, maybe you should give it a try.

Also, I found this fun parody of an animation blog:
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/animation-website.php?page=1
Be sure to read the John K parody on the second page XD

[kala-aira.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I'm super glad things are turning around.

But, do take your time getting better! I'd be worried about you trying too much at once. ^_^

[devlinnreiko.livejournal.com]

Glad to see that you're back and doing a bit better according to you. That's nice to hear. (I'm sucked dry of vocabulary -_- ) It's been so quiet without you here!

I hope things start to look on the bright side for you. You need your bounce back!!!

[erinlin.livejournal.com]

Meds can do really weird things to your head. I'm glad to here you're ok, and feeling better. *hugs*

[swyrel.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you're feeling better. I've never been on meds (so, I can't relate with you on that level), but I've also never been strong enough to ask for help when I really needed it. I'm glad that you were brave enough to do so.

Good luck with your school work, and don't press yourself to get any art up for us. We can wait until you're feeling a lot better. I love your art, Luco, but I love you more. So, take it easy for a bit.

~Swyrel

[hii-chan.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that medication can really mess things up. While I would've hoped it helps, I can also understand that in your career, not being able to draw is not really an option...
I just hope that you'll find other ways to help you stabilize a bit and keep you from being constantly miserable.

Because I agree that as much as your art is amazing, we love you personally more, so I don't want to see you in that state >_< .

[graycat21.livejournal.com]

It's good to hear from you again, I was worried about you, but I'm glad to see that your trying hard keep things running smoothly. I hope things start turning out for the better for you.

I'm also happy that you got the package!! I hope the pics of us didn't scare you too much. ^_^;

I can give you a link to the website of where Zoros body came from, they give his measurements (if you scroll down a bit.)

body measurement

[onikotsu.livejournal.com]

*HUG* because you need it. I'm glad you tried to get help even though that didn't work out because your a wonderful person and need to take care of yourself( which includes eating *nudge nudge*) I'm glad your back to yourself because I love you!

[neiotik.livejournal.com]

Mark has your dragon in his trunk.

[(Anonymous)]

*hug* Sorry to hear that you hit a rough patch, but I'm glad you're on the mend, and I'm very glad that you took care of yourself and did what needed to be done. Take care, and here's hoping it's all up hill from here. *raises a Pepsi*

-Ducky

[darkstar360.livejournal.com]

Im happy you are felling better. Life has no meaning if one can't express it.

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

Delmar gets all the love ^___^

But yes, I'd rather be moody and me then calm and not.

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

Yeah, meds and me have never really gotten along so I'm not surprised, just mostly annoyed.

*hugs* Sorry I worried you.

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

I'll figure something out. Things just got out of hand far too quickly for me to deal with all at once. mainly I think it was my own fault for trying to take on too much at once.

Hopefully I'll figure out how to balance all this stuff one of these days.

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

That sounds like me. I was there, i was existing, but couldn't feel strongly about anything, including my art. It's not fun and so, while, as you said, it works for some people, it's just not for me ^^;

And you're email said you found my address. Do you still need it or was this posted before that?

*snuggles*

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

*laughs* Yeah, I'd rather find another way to get my creativity flowing since I can't stand the smell of that stuff. . .

But my depression is really....it's not triggered by anything. I'm bi-polar so my moods switch between that depression and a state that is kind of like Luffy on a sugar-high.

It's hard keeping a balance between the two and usually I'm pretty good, but I think I just took on too much and crashed.

I'll know better for next time.

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

My phone number would be: 416-904-3576

Feel free to send random texts and stuff ^___^ They make me smile.

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

The email that I use would be: art.luco@gmail.com

And it's nice to hear I'm not the only one who goes through this. It's really an odd feeling though. You know everything you want to do is there, just under the surface, but you can't reach it. It's like the talent and drive belongs to someone else and you're reading a story about them.

Does that even make sense?

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

Meds in general just don't agree with me. i admit I hate them and teh only reason I agreed to give them a try was because I knew I was at a point where I was losing control anyways...

But they turned out to be a mistake for me. I've seen them work with some people, but for me, no.

And that blog....is pretty damn amusing ^__^

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm on my break week which helps. I can sit back and play video games! Hopefully this is just what I need to get and keep me back on track.

*loves*

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

Awww, so I make things entertaining? That's good to hear ^___^ But yeah. I've missed working on stuff for you guys so hopefully I keep things organized so that i can continue to provide random and odd art for you!

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

Yup! Life is starting to settle down and allow me time to catch up for which I'm extremely thankful!

Now hopefully it stays like thsi for a while.

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

Awww, I'm not really strong, I just have too many people I would hurt if I let something happen to me. I don't want to see them upset...

And I know I don't need to constantly show you guys art...but I want to and I like doing it *pouts* I wish i could make a living just doing that. . . *sigh*

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm slowly finding a balance that works. It's just trying to maintain it with school work, a social life and my personal art schedule.

It's going to take some work, but I'll figure it out!

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

That works! Now I can start on the clothes for him! And I still have fabric left over from Bunny Zoro's costume so I can get his haramaki made from the right material ^___^

I'm all excited now! I have an excuse to sew!

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

*laughs* Yes, I'm starting to eat properly again ^___^ And I will do my best to take care of myself since I hate to see you worry *snuggles*

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

*grumbles in his general direction*

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

PEPSI!

*tackles it...and you ^__^*

Yeah, I'm hoping things start to go smoothly now. I mean, it can't get much worse, right?

*loves*

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

That's really what it all comes down to. I guess I'm lucky that I have a very visible way of expressing everything i want to say.

*loves*

[mogumogu.livejournal.com]

Well, it's technically an amino acid supplement and not a depression medication. I think it wouldn't hurt to give it a try sometime when you don't have school. In fact, if you try something again, it should be when there are fewer variables in your life. My dad and I have had pretty good luck with it. My grandmother says she doesn't get migraines much anymore or something.

Medications are tricky things. My dad has a friend with extreme depression who's been off and on all sorts of medications to find the right kind, the right dosage, etc. My old chemistry teacher once said that medicine is one field where one plus one does not necessarily equal two.

But, I understand how you feel. I hated that feeling that I was a drug addict when on the prescription stuff. There's this whole section of your life that revolves around the procuring of the stuff that really makes things unpleasant.

XD It's funny how animation nerds will worship something that really wasn't all that great and compare everything to it. I was just looking at an old Cartoon Brew post where a lot of people were saying they hated the 80s Alvin and the Chipmunks show and the original was the best and other people were like "It wasn't that great..."

[darkstar360.livejournal.com]

*love back*

And you got a giant ass support system!

[helendragon.livejournal.com]

Its okay. I was the most upset when I read how your frieds treated you. (You'll probably notice this, in my comments to that post. My boyfriend has (type 1)diabetes but we would never treat him like a burden.

[neiotik.livejournal.com]

Oh, and they're selling comic layout pages at Curry's now. I bought a sampler pack for $10. The packs you and Jer use go for about $16 per pack, if I remember correctly.