It's me, sheraton, Nancy. Kitten, it gets better. Post-traumatic stress is the name for what you're experiencing right now. *You will be alright.*
You know I'm pretty centered, and yet in a spate of anger and anxiety I kicked my cat who had only recently recovered from surgery. (He was okay, and he forgave me long before I forgave myself. Cats are like that.)
Here's a recommendation for something to do:
Bundle up if you need to, then get outside. Then breathe. Breathe through your nose if you can; feel the air going into your lungs and filling them. Breathe out evenly and feel the air move again; feel your breath warm the air outside.
The object of the game is to just *feel*. If you think something, then think it and let it go and go back to breathing. Feel the ground under your feet, too that's holding you up, and know your feet are connected to the whole world. The ground is there to catch you if you fall. You're standing in one spot, connected to the world.
When you're feeling calmer, find the knot in your chest, the tension in your hands and feet and back and muscles where your anxiety and your anger at yourself is. Breathe in, and feel the breathe lift some of that anger. Breathe out, and let the breath take the anger out.
There's going to be some of that anxiety and anger that the breathing won't be able to move, because it's so heavy. that's where your connection to the ground comes in. When you breathe in, let the air displace that heavy feeling. When you breathe out, let the ground at your feet soak up the anxiety and anger.
That's what the ground is for in this world; it's a huge cleansing system that takes unclean stuff and with time, purifies it. You can use it for cleansing feelings too.
This won't take care of everything at once but it's a good way to get control of feelings. The cold air can give you the sharp feeling you want, and letting the heavy, horrible feelings bleed into the ground at your feet just might give you the freedom from the need to cut.
The last three things you can do are: Forgive yourself for that want and think about a future free of it. Forgive yourself for being weak; it's part of being human. Then, if you want to, thank the air and the ground for always being there.
This is stuff I have done in the past when everything was overwhelming. It may sound hokey but it helped me. Since I can't be there beside you, I can only share what's helped me.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2011-02-22 07:41 pm (UTC)You know I'm pretty centered, and yet in a spate of anger and anxiety I kicked my cat who had only recently recovered from surgery. (He was okay, and he forgave me long before I forgave myself. Cats are like that.)
Here's a recommendation for something to do:
Bundle up if you need to, then get outside. Then breathe. Breathe through your nose if you can; feel the air going into your lungs and filling them. Breathe out evenly and feel the air move again; feel your breath warm the air outside.
The object of the game is to just *feel*. If you think something, then think it and let it go and go back to breathing. Feel the ground under your feet, too that's holding you up, and know your feet are connected to the whole world. The ground is there to catch you if you fall. You're standing in one spot, connected to the world.
When you're feeling calmer, find the knot in your chest, the tension in your hands and feet and back and muscles where your anxiety and your anger at yourself is. Breathe in, and feel the breathe lift some of that anger. Breathe out, and let the breath take the anger out.
There's going to be some of that anxiety and anger that the breathing won't be able to move, because it's so heavy. that's where your connection to the ground comes in. When you breathe in, let the air displace that heavy feeling. When you breathe out, let the ground at your feet soak up the anxiety and anger.
That's what the ground is for in this world; it's a huge cleansing system that takes unclean stuff and with time, purifies it. You can use it for cleansing feelings too.
This won't take care of everything at once but it's a good way to get control of feelings. The cold air can give you the sharp feeling you want, and letting the heavy, horrible feelings bleed into the ground at your feet just might give you the freedom from the need to cut.
The last three things you can do are: Forgive yourself for that want and think about a future free of it. Forgive yourself for being weak; it's part of being human. Then, if you want to, thank the air and the ground for always being there.
This is stuff I have done in the past when everything was overwhelming. It may sound hokey but it helped me. Since I can't be there beside you, I can only share what's helped me.
Hang in there, kitten; it gets better.