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Well....I feel better...a bit...
Thursday...dressed in costume fore school, participated in the class party and then, ate some snacks whihc put me in the hospital with a nut reaction...
Was interesting seeing them try and get all the equipment around my costume ^___^ But I'm still woozy from the drugs and sore from the IV.
Ah well, it's just given me time to think and well, time to realize how childish and flighty I really am compared to all my friends (and yes thta includes all who read this). It seems I can only ever see what's on the surface and never understand anything deeper. I just can't quite grasp what everyone says. Maybe it's still the drugs talking, but it always feels like I'm onme step behind, not an adult, not able to have any intelligent conversation.
I'm only good at dealing with emotions and visuals. Words....escape me. Ideas...skim over me. Unless I'm interested I turn away and even if I am interested, it's never for the proper reasons. I don't know. I guess I'm just waiting for all you to get tired of having this little kid hanging off you. . .
meh.......I'm due for more drugs.
Was interesting seeing them try and get all the equipment around my costume ^___^ But I'm still woozy from the drugs and sore from the IV.
Ah well, it's just given me time to think and well, time to realize how childish and flighty I really am compared to all my friends (and yes thta includes all who read this). It seems I can only ever see what's on the surface and never understand anything deeper. I just can't quite grasp what everyone says. Maybe it's still the drugs talking, but it always feels like I'm onme step behind, not an adult, not able to have any intelligent conversation.
I'm only good at dealing with emotions and visuals. Words....escape me. Ideas...skim over me. Unless I'm interested I turn away and even if I am interested, it's never for the proper reasons. I don't know. I guess I'm just waiting for all you to get tired of having this little kid hanging off you. . .
meh.......I'm due for more drugs.
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And, granted I only know you casually, but...:cuddles: Hon, everyone feels like they're an imposter sometimes. "I'm masquerading as someone who's happier/cleverer/smarter/more creative/funnier than me. _I_ really suck." EVERYONE feels that way. _I_ feel that way. I keep waiting for my boss to figure out that I'm not as smart as I think he thinks I am. >_< It's ok. We grow and change every day, and we're inevitably harder on ourselves than other people are on us. :hugs:
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Blah.....and I hurt everywhere.. . .but I am alive so all is good, I guess.
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I don't think you act like a little kid at all. I can never think very far ahead in life because I'm terrified that anything I do will change things for the worst. I'm scared of things changing, so I hold myself back intentionally. Basically I keep screwing myself over. >_>
*sigh*
Just know that I'll never get tired of you or your journal entries. ^_^
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Wow...it seems the people who can stand me are the ones that I can't meet face to face......
But it's nice to know you're loved...
*hugs*
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Sweetheart, you're one of the more emotionally mature people I know, and that counts for a hell of a lot more than knowing the meaning of epistemology. (Even I have to keep looking that one up, and I'm an academic geek.) Anyone who's dealt with as much crap as you have and come out standing on her feet is definitely and adult. Don't ever doubt that.
*cuddles*
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Feels safe....and warm......
*snuggles*
I wish I could get by in life with just being emotionally mature...but no...everone wants thta stupid piece of glittery paper that suposedly tells people what you know...
*sighs and curls up more*