Well....I feel better...a bit...
Oct. 30th, 2004 08:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lucoThursday...dressed in costume fore school, participated in the class party and then, ate some snacks whihc put me in the hospital with a nut reaction...
Was interesting seeing them try and get all the equipment around my costume ^___^ But I'm still woozy from the drugs and sore from the IV.
Ah well, it's just given me time to think and well, time to realize how childish and flighty I really am compared to all my friends (and yes thta includes all who read this). It seems I can only ever see what's on the surface and never understand anything deeper. I just can't quite grasp what everyone says. Maybe it's still the drugs talking, but it always feels like I'm onme step behind, not an adult, not able to have any intelligent conversation.
I'm only good at dealing with emotions and visuals. Words....escape me. Ideas...skim over me. Unless I'm interested I turn away and even if I am interested, it's never for the proper reasons. I don't know. I guess I'm just waiting for all you to get tired of having this little kid hanging off you. . .
meh.......I'm due for more drugs.
Was interesting seeing them try and get all the equipment around my costume ^___^ But I'm still woozy from the drugs and sore from the IV.
Ah well, it's just given me time to think and well, time to realize how childish and flighty I really am compared to all my friends (and yes thta includes all who read this). It seems I can only ever see what's on the surface and never understand anything deeper. I just can't quite grasp what everyone says. Maybe it's still the drugs talking, but it always feels like I'm onme step behind, not an adult, not able to have any intelligent conversation.
I'm only good at dealing with emotions and visuals. Words....escape me. Ideas...skim over me. Unless I'm interested I turn away and even if I am interested, it's never for the proper reasons. I don't know. I guess I'm just waiting for all you to get tired of having this little kid hanging off you. . .
meh.......I'm due for more drugs.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-30 09:25 am (UTC)And, granted I only know you casually, but...:cuddles: Hon, everyone feels like they're an imposter sometimes. "I'm masquerading as someone who's happier/cleverer/smarter/more creative/funnier than me. _I_ really suck." EVERYONE feels that way. _I_ feel that way. I keep waiting for my boss to figure out that I'm not as smart as I think he thinks I am. >_< It's ok. We grow and change every day, and we're inevitably harder on ourselves than other people are on us. :hugs:
no subject
Date: 2004-10-30 10:36 am (UTC)Blah.....and I hurt everywhere.. . .but I am alive so all is good, I guess.