luco | Why does everything require titles??

Not been a good day. Well it has in the fact that I got a nice pair of boots and get to go visit friends tommorrow.

But the rest. . .

Well...I've been talking to this guy for awhlie. He's nice, friendly, not bad-looking nad just basically great. he's asked me out a few times and I kept telling him no, not yet.

Well finally I decided that I've been comfortable around guys and him in particular that I'd give it a shot.

But the minute he came closer, not physically since I'm a very physical person, but emotionally, the minute I let him get near me with my guards down I had a full-blown panic attack. The kinds where after you snap out of it you don't know what's happened but you do remember that you were terrified.

Completely.

I did notice that he had a lovely set of scratches down his arm and a bruise on his face, but he didn't tell me what I had done and then, he told me that he knew why I hadkept saying no.

And then he told me that he wished I would have continued saying no so that he could have kept his dream.

I don't know which i feel worse about, the fact that I had another attack when i was sure I was over them, or that fact that most of the guys I seem to attract, seem to think of me as a dream, an obbsession...

I'm tired and I have a party to go to tommorrow as I said....

I think I need to sleep.