School work again.

[luco]

So, if our teacher had been healthy, today i would have done my story pitch. But seeing as he is not, I rushed and panicked for nothing...

And thus was left with all these little drawings and no one to show them to, so you guys get tortured once again! Aren't you lucky? Well, I actually turned them all into one big drawing with text so that you can follow along...but really, because I didn't get to do the pitch and get opinions from classmates and teachers, I figured I'd see what you guys thought of it. This is just the really rough basics of the story, so feel free to ask questions, state opinions etc. I'm going to consider this a test run for when I do have to present it.

And I apologize for the quality of the drawings as they were rushed and done completely with a ball point pen. Also, let me know if you can figure out what time period and where it takes place.




Not as cheerful as what I normally do, but I guess it kind of gives you an idea of the kind of mood and mind set I've been in lately. . .

Comments

[anguisel.livejournal.com]

I'm guessing...1800s? Maybe late 1700s? Seems like it be a good story, dark but good.

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

You'd be guessing about right. I needed to place it in Victorian Age England. Glad you liked it ^__^

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Awww, it made me tear up a little bit. That's good! (And the storyboarding was of good quality, too.)

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

Good! I seem to be getting the responses I wanted so yeah!

But good quality? Wait until I'm caught up on homework and actually have time and THEN I'll show you good quality ^___^

[ningen-demonai.livejournal.com]

Oh dude, that looks SO COOL, although I wanna know more about the insane lady and the carriage man now. :D

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

Well, the insane lady is Anna's mother and as for the carriage man. His story has yet to be fully figured out >_>

[ningen-demonai.livejournal.com]

Awww, poor Anna's mommy. :(

[mailechan.livejournal.com]

That was a good story. I'm so glad there was a happy ending. I thought they were pretty detailed for storyboards. When you come down for Otakon, I'll have to bring Cat's Return with me to watch. They have a second disk in the set that does the whole movie in storyboard format.

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

That would be so cool to see *________* But yes, I try to give happy endings where I can.

[kitten0face.livejournal.com]

Those ARE awesome storyboards. I liked it :)

Death's character design stuck out. I really liked it.

Is it set in London? Or just Generic Europe?

I also really liked the old woman's face where she is holding Anna as a doll.

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

I'm glad, because I wanted death to not look like he belonged with the others and it seems to have worked and yes, it is generic London, Victorian age so this is good.

[swyrel.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, that was really good. Is there going to be more of it?

~Swyrel

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

*laughs* If I ever get more time I could do more ^__^

[hii-chan.livejournal.com]

Wow, I really like it as well!! Though it made me incredibly sad and left me with fear for the little girl, because it's never a good sign if death is pleased...
But the death design is sooo cool! I totally love it! And of course your plushies are cute as always!
And a random detail, but I love those winged-cat-statues at the gate!!

And the setting is Europe, isn't it? A major city there in the mid-late 1800 I'd say.

Will you ever make a sequel and tell us why death was pleased?

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, the little girl will get her happy ever after. And you got the setting right which makes me very happy (because it means I've done my job correctly!)

And we shall see if time allows me to add more to this tale.

[hii-chan.livejournal.com]

Glad I got it right ^.^
But keep in mind I am European, so I should know the basic time periods...

And do let us know what your teacher said about that presentation, okay?

Oh yea...

[kitten0face.livejournal.com]

Have you seen these?

http://i10.ebayimg.com/05/i/000/cd/43/5f0c_1.JPG

Re: Oh yea...

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

O_________________O You have no idea how badly I want those now!!!! Is there any possible way for me to get them??

Re: Oh yea...

[kitten0face.livejournal.com]

http://www.sideshowtoy.com/cgi-bin/category.cgi?category=potc_fan

Here seems to be pretty cheap.

If you scroll down, they're towards the bottom. The first one is a supersized one!

[onikotsu.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking before cars um Revlotionary war or a little later? I can't date any of thos but that's my mind's putting the story. And many it's in England? I think it was very good, the story would flow nicer maybe with some connecting scenes between some of the panels but if it's not needed to flow prefectly then I think it's fine. You left me wondering what Death and the insane woman were up to. But I liked it and as usually your art s amzing exspecially if this is done with a ballpoint. ^_^

P.S: Do you know any time you'll be on AIM? I really miss talking to you but I understand you're busy so I'm asking.

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

Just give me some ideas of where more panels are needed. I want to make this story work as best I can, so any place it seems jumpy, let me know. As for AIM, how ever much work I get done by Monday will set how much free time I actually have, so we shall see. Sorry I can't give a better answer then that.

[onikotsu.livejournal.com]

The search for the right person seemed a little quick. Other than that it flows. It's fine I understand that sometimes you can;t tell when you'll have time, I hope I get to talk to you Monday then. ^__^

[renegadelufin.livejournal.com]

I like the way your colour palette changes during your story to reflect the mood -- at the climax it's so dark, and then it changes again at the end of your story to a much more peaceful combination. Very nice. I also like how you've managed to simplify the Victorian dress on your main character. Holy crap, but those things are complicated.

So now a few questions that came up as I was reading. Why didn't Anna try to contact her daughter, while she was a doll? It would have been the perfect form to reach her in, and since her daughter's drugged, it's not like she would've been skeptical of the doll or really afraid of it. (Maybe she did contact her daughter as part of getting the stagecoach to meet her? But if so I would've thought that'd be a fairly major emotional point in the story.)

How does she know, several years after her daughter has been taken away, that the girl she sees as she's dying is her daughter? I think that "maternal instinct" is kind of a weak excuse. Has she been asking The Boys about her daughter, during the years afterward when presumably she was forced to work for them again? Has she been trying to find the girl all this time? If she hasn't, why hasn't she -- and why does the sudden sight of her daughter make such a huge impact?

Why does the crazy woman choose to help Anna? Had Anna shown her some kindness in the past, that she remembers? Or does she just like to kill things? I think she could use some context.

Also, because I'm curious, is Death your comic-relief character? That could be quite interesting.

Looking forward to your pitch :)

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

Those dresses are indeed a complete pain in the ass which is why I'm glad I'm not dealing with the Upper Class ^____^

So, now the questions...

Anna didn't try and contact her daughter because she knew she wouldn't respond. Kids were fed a mixture of opium and alcohol to keep them quiet and thus I don't think the little girl really understood where she even was.

Her recognizing her daughter, will be one I need to think about more carefully it would seem. And I don't think Anna actually believed the girl would have survived this long. Maybe death had something to do with her seeing her daughter...and that gives me and idea...will get back to you on that one.

And the crazy woman is Anna's mother, so I think I can tie in Anna's reaction to her daughter and death having some part in making her see her just as she dies and make it work. Will have to play with it though.

Death or the Coachman will end up being the comedy relief. It's just trying to pin down the 'boys' into one solid character to use as a villian. . .

But thanks for going over it!

[cephy.livejournal.com]

Hee! Very nice. I especially like your design of death, though I'm not sure I can elaborate as to why...

Best of luck with the presentation! ^^

[luco-millian.livejournal.com]

Well, I wanted him to stand out...and it would seem he does ^___^

[ahja-reyn.livejournal.com]

Hmm...its got a nice fighting theme to it with the mother fighting tooth and nail for her daughter.